Failure

So I didn't know it could be so difficult to give a dose of Methadone, but apparently for someone brilliant like me it can take 3 different doses. As I pulled the Methadone out of the accudose, I thought: I will just squirt this in the cap of the syringe and draw it up rather then going to get a med cup. As I released the med it went into the cap and then immediately to the floor. The nurse across the hall was standing there looking at me like I was an idiot. So I asked her to witness that it was on the floor and I didn't just go into the hallway and inject it into myself. I pull a second dose out and draw it up, from a med cup, into the oral syringe like I had done all night. I had never given methadone IV and most of the other drugs I was giving to this patient were oral. As I showed this same nurse my dose, she asked why I was giving this IV methadone orally? Yah, thats right. I had been giving all the IV methadone orally that night. I guess I do deserve to be called a moron sometimes. To make matters worse, I could no longer use this dose of methadone because now it was unsterile and I would have to go to a different accudose to get a dose, being I just wasted the last one. Now you know why I have been struggling with my mouth lately. It is times like these that I wonder why I am a nurse and want to quit.
So being so on top of my game, I went running with my mom and the dogs. When we got to the bottom of memory grove where the pond was there was a little duckling who had gotten separated from it's mom and was trying to swim against the force of the water to keep from being pushed over through the metal bars and down under the street. As we watched this poor little duck, we knew it's fate if we didn't do something. I decided we would have my dog Lucy go in and chase the duckling to the side. Well Lucy did a great job chasing it. Suddenly this lady comes running up to me yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't listen. As she continued to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I yelled back at her and said, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO we are trying to save the duck!" I think she was surprised by my reaction and then quietly started cheering for the dog. Lucy got the duckling into her mouth and my mom grabbed it from her. Yeah, we saved the duck. Even crazy lady was cheering and yelling "Good dog"! As I made my way over to where my mom and the duck were, my mom looked distressed. The duck that was alive after the rescue, suddenly decided to die. It lay limp in her hand. No bite marks, just probably stunned from the whole situation. I started compressions but I failed. The duckling died and it was my fault. This just added to the failure of a day it had been. I could not bring myself to throw the duckling into the garbage or leave it for a dog to eat, so I took it home and buried it. I don't know, I guess it was just my way of showing respect for life. I hope everybody else's day went better then mine!